Men - Getting Older and Having Sex
The myths surrounding sexual intimacy in later years are finally being put in
their proper place - behind us.
There is no subject in our society that is associated with more myths and
misinformation that that of sexual intimacy and the elderly. This subject was
previously considered a taboo and was relegated to derogatory humor.
However, as a result of the pioneering work of Masters and Johnson, the subject
of sex and the elderly has "come out of the closet." It is now a frequent topic
of great concern to the more than 21 million American men and women who are over
65 years of age.
How the baby boom is redefining what is "old"
With the aging of the baby boom, more Americans are in their 40s and 50s.
In fact, demographics experts are noting that the large number of people born in
the baby boom period after World War II are redefining what is considered "old."
Back in the 1970s and 1980s, the young baby boomers who were then in their 20s
and 30s, viewed people in their 50s as "oldsters."
But now that these same baby boomers are entering the 40s and 50s themselves,
they refuse to inherit that label. Instead, these baby boomers are pushing the
label of "senior" farther into the 70s and 80s.
These aging baby boomers are not at all willing to concede themselves as
seniors, and are doing everything possible to stay young and active -- including
acting young and being active sexually.
Does a man become impotent as he gets older?
Some examples of the myths that are associated with the subject of sex and aging
Impotence is a natural consequence of aging.
Sexual activity can be dangerous for the elderly.
The sex drive or libido diminishes with advancing years for both men and women.
None of the above are true. These myths have been around for a long time and
have made it difficult if not impossible for the elderly to enjoy sexual
intimacy in their advancing years without feeling guilty or embarrassed.
Do older men and women still like sex?
Recent research shows that as we get older, our senses of taste, smell, and
sight diminish, and our capacity for strenuous activities and exertion decline.
Naturally our sexual sensations and the ability to perform sexually will
Masters and Johnson discovered that "human sexual response may be slowed by the
aging process, but it is certainly not terminated." Several recent reports
indicate that the majority of women and nearly all men from 50-80 are still
interested in sex. These studies also confirm that the majority of the elderly
are capable of engaging in and enjoying sex.
How do men change physically with age, and how does that affect sex?
In most instances older men require a longer time in order to achieve an
erection. What took only a few seconds to a few minutes in a 19-year-old now
requires 10-15 minutes in an older man. Many patients are often "cured" of
impotence just by learning this important consequence of aging.
Women similarly need to understand that the man may need more manual stimulation
to achieve an erection. Just as women complain that they need more foreplay, as
a man gets older, he too needs a fair amount of foreplay to achieve an erection.
Fact: For a man over 50, it may not be enough to lend a seductive glance to get
the guy rolling. A woman should be willing to do some fondling of the penis to
help the man achieve an erection.
Another normal change that occurs in the older man is the loss of orgasmic
inevitability or the sensation of impending orgasm that occurs in younger men.
Some older men will notice that the volume of the ejaculate decreases slightly
and the force of the ejaculate also decreases with age. The older man also loses
some of the focus on orgasm. The woman, accordingly, should not assume that he
is not enjoying the intimate experience when the man does not ejaculate. On the
contrary, older men can achieve a great deal of pleasure from sexual intimacy
and yet not have an orgasm or ejaculate.
Finally, "the refractory period," or the time it takes to achieve another
erection after ejaculation, increases with age. While a young man of 18 can
often recover with an erection 15 minutes after sex, a man in his 50s may
require 24 hours or more before he has another erection and he is interested in
How do women change as they get older?
There is a similar set of normal physiological changes that occur in the older
woman that can have an impact on their capacity for intimacy.
First, and most important, is the decline in the female hormone, estrogen, that
occurs after menopause, which typically takes place when the women enters her
The absence of estrogen can result in decreased vaginal lubrication. The loss of
lubrication can often result in painful intercourse, but fortunately this
condition can be easily treated with creams or medication like KY-jelly or
Astroglide, both of which are available in drug stores.
Other normal changes in the older woman include a decrease in length, width, and
elasticity of the vagina. Recent studies, however, indicate that the older woman
has no physical limitation in her capacity to achieve and enjoy orgasm.
It is well documented that older women experience fewer sexual problems than men
as they age. Most healthy women can expect unimpaired sexual activity to the end
of their lives if that was their pattern earlier.