SeniorSite.com Dating Over 50 Survey The Results Are In
Here's what those trying to find love over 50 are looking for in a match.
At SeniorSite.com we are not only championing for people over 55, but also try to enable the most knowledge based seniors questions with informative answers. So we have a new set of conclusions based on a relaxed set of answers on a survey we have conducted during the last several months.
Dating at 50 or older may sound daunting whether you're recently single or have been going alone for a while. And although things may have changed a lot from dating as a 20 something (think sexting and texting) millions of singles of a certain age are looking for love.
But it doesn't mean they aren't discerning about potential partners. Among those ages 50-65, the top three deal breakers are poor health, financial instability and a potential partner they find physically unattractive, say some 2,033 singles surveyed over the summer.
At least three-quarters or more of those surveyed cited those factors as deal breakers, with poor health at the top at 78%, followed by financial instability at 76% and physical unattractiveness at 75%.
When you are 50 and older and thinking about dating, you're thinking about going out and having somebody to do things with and having a companion and living life.
The survey for SeniorSite.com about dating behaviors, beliefs and he overall dating landscape also found that among the respondents, 71% are divorced, 80% have children and 99% are heterosexual.
Sal Medina, 59, a digital media specialist and marketing professional in Ft. Lauderdale who participated in the survey, says his divorce was final in January after 32 years of marriage.
Medina, who has two sons ages 19 and 22, says he and his former wife have focused on being amicable."
"It's important for yourself as a human being and important for your children," he says. "If it were The War of the Roses, (the 1989 movie about a bitter divorce) what are you passing along to your kids and what would they be thinking about an institution known as marriage?"
"You need to have an amicable, cordial relationship with another human being after spending a portion of your life with them," Medina says.
Clinical psychologist Judy Rabinor of New York City, believes it's so important to have a friendly relationship with your ex that she wrote a book about it. Befriending Your Ex After Divorce: Making Life Better for You, Your Kids, and Yes, Your Ex was published earlier this year.
"Children are the glue that keep the parents together," she says. "It takes a village and your ex-husband remains such an important person in your village."
The survey finds that most agree it's possible to be friends with an ex. It didn't specify a spouse or a relationship, but 56% say they're friends with one or more of my exes; 22% say it's possible, but they aren't friends with an ex; 15% say they don't believe it's possible; and 7% don't have any exes.
Earlier research has shown that most people do say they are friends with an ex.
For many people, it could be 'friendly' - I'm not ready to tear his or her eyes out, but does it mean I'm going to movies or hanging out with them? Probably not we would argue.
The survey also asked whether respondents want to marry at this stage of life. The reaction was split - tipping slightly toward the altar, with 51% wanting to marry and 49% against it. Among women, 52% want to marry. Among men, 52% don't.
Sherry G, 60, of Great Neck, NY, is divorced and unsure about marriage.
"I'm looking for a partnership," she says. "If it ends up in marriage, that's a possibility. I haven't had the experience of a really good marriage and I'd like to have a chance to have a good relationship."
Survey respondents who believe that finding someone the same age or 1-5 years younger works best.
Of the participants, 15% wanted someone the same age and 26% were looking for a partner 1-5 years younger. Although one-quarter of the respondents didn't care about age, We have noticed definite differences.
There seems to be a break around 63 or 64 that's generational. What we have found is we don't have as much in common with the people older than we are - everything from musical tastes to activities to their view on the world."
As an over-50 single, dating is a lot different than when we were younger.
We've figured out that we're living longer and we're more active. Hopefully most of us know a lot more about ourselves and potentially can be a better partner.
Here are the Stats - You figure them out.
There’s no turning back - According to the survey, the vast majority of 50+ singles (55%) DON’T want to turn back the clock and date as a millennial. And why should they? Those surveyed say they are more confident in what they want in a partner (94%), more comfortable with themselves (89%), and less willing to settle (87%), and feel less pressure (75%)!
Don’t stop believing - While 50% say they’ve been in love three or more times, 57% of these 50+ singles still currently believe in the idea of “The One.” And just over half (51%) want to get married at this stage in their life.
Pressure’s off – The majority of both men and women (58%) felt the desire to get married and start a family affected their past relationship choices. But an overwhelming percentage (75%) say they feel less pressure from outside sources now that they’re older and dating.
Positive about the past - the majority of those singles surveyed don’t shun their exes, with 78% saying they believe it’s possible to remain friends.
Not hung up on heartbreak - When asked if any past breakups from their 20s and 30s still impact their views on relationships today, the majority of people said no (52%). And of those who do still feel impacted by a breakup, it’s in a positive way (37%).
Communication is key - For both sexes, lack of communication was the number one cause of turmoil in past relationships. But that’s where similarities end. For men, simply growing apart ranked #2, followed by outside influences and a lack of intimacy. For women, infidelity came in second, while money was third.
Dating deal breakers – While the top deal breaker for women is financial instability (84%) men say lack of physical attraction (84%). Poor health came in second for both women and men (78%).
The ones that got away - When asked if there was someone in their past they regret not striking up a romance with 72% of men said yes, while the majority of females (52%) said no! The majority of both males (73%) and females (60%) however, would like to revisit a relationship from their past.
Technological advances - Men are especially confident that online dating would have helped them in their 20s and 30s, with 50% responding they think it would have helped when they were younger as compared to roughly1/3 of women.